Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Christmas Presents from the X

Last year for Christmas Mr. X gave me a large bottle of extra-strength Tylenol, a box of Kleenex, and a big bottle of generic store brand blue mouthwash. We were separated, but not yet divorced. I was touched, deeply, by the thoughfulness of these gifts because I was truly having a tough time of it. And who doesn't always need these kinds of household products? And if he didn't waste time and paper by wrapping them, and just handed them to me in a plastic Walgreens bag? Well, good. I could use the bag to clean up after my dog. He may have "meant something" with these gifts, but I am sure it wasn't " oh go overdose on all those tylenol, you big cry baby with bad breath!".

This year though, I am wondering just a little . He got me a gift certificate to a very fancy spa. I can use the gift certificate for any number of exciting treatments- a seaweed wrap for example. But he got me the exact amount for the Colonic Hydrotherapy. This is a nice way of saying that I will get to spend 40 minutes with a hose up my ass, as warm water washes away anything that might be blocking up my large intestine. I think he might be trying to tell me something.

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